Meant to Be

Maybe we will meet again someday, years later, 10, 15, 20. I won't know you then nor will you recognize me. I'll find you older, you'll find me wiser but beautiful as ever. We will frequent a nearby coffee shop. Giggle like teens while sipping our latte. Look deep into each other's eyes while we talk. We'll walk under falling winter leaves, holding each other. We'll write our names on sand and watch as the waves carry them to the farthest end of ocean. We will sketch our dreams on the new fog settled on the window pane. We will watch the storm rage outside while our bodies find peace wrapped around. We will search for constellations under a starry sky and find shapes in clouds. We will take long rides to paths unknown and get back rich with new tales to tell. We'll reveal our deepest fears and darkest secrets bringing out the worst in us. We'll soothe our insecurities together and make way for love as never before. Then one day you will tell me what you never told the brown eyed girl you loved and lost and I'll tell you what I never told the cheeky smiled boy I always knew was mine. And that day once best friends will fall in love not knowing they were always meant to.

The Line

A girl sleeps on my bed; a stranger with my face. I knew her once but now not sure.
She says she is me, I know she is not.
She meets me at places she is never meant to be, awake with people she never meant to see
Traces of blood beneath her nails, drawn everytime she claws her self
Thriving on destruction, most often her own, calling out my name she says“Don’t hate yourself, you never saw the line you crossed”

Come Home

I miss the winding roads where I rode, do they miss me ? I know not.
They always had people like me. They always loved people like me. We are so similar. Our journey knows no end.
Someday when the desire to comply wanes, I might go back there. Once more feel the wind &  rain and in all sense come home.

I am

I am not an angel with a halo overhead

I am not a devil awaiting a tread

I am not love, just a source

And I am not hate, just its cause

I am not a sin, nor virtue, nor salvation

I know not about truth, nor lies

I am not the air that life sustains

Neither do I quench thirst like the rain

I am just a mirage, an illusion, a dream

Search & I’ll be found in every realm.

Fictional Crush Alert

“Oh I simply love Sherlock”. I gushed with blushing cheeks and the excitement of a 14 yr old revealing her first crush, “I Already got 2 Sherlock tees, a hoodie , 2 Sherlock bag badges, 2 Sherlock keychains & God only knows how many wall papers & pictures”

The recipient of my overwhelming confession looked at me like I was some green skinned alien. “Fictional Crush ” she stated & nodded her head gravely. My bestie knew too well about  my crush list, only glitch being they were all Fictional.

So as an avid fan of adventure books my first fictional crush was a natural impulse. Heyyyy......you cannot introduce a girl the Hardy Boys series & blame her for falling for Frank Hardy. Gentlemen trust me; we geeky girls always fall for the silent, sensible guys, looks & charms notwithstanding. And behold the 6 feet 1 inch black haired elder brother managed to ride into my imagination as the thinking man with utter ease. Needless to say I have half the series covered in my book shelf, right from the Hardy Boys mystery series to their case files.

But first crushes are always fickle and I was to realize this soon. Blame it on the age when rebellious tendencies surpass every other sense, or call it the craving for superheroism but this time I was more ambitious with my affections. Mortal men were so passé, we needed something more. Enter the mutants with X Men. I honestly confess my sole interest in genetics was sparked just because of this one cartoon series when Gambit ruled my better judgement for most time. With that attitude, the audacity, not to mention the quintessential bad boy aura....Gambit rocked big time. For almost a year I was glued to TV religiously following X Men till they stopped airing it thus ending the second spell of love in my life.

P.S. Wolverine never was appealing the comic series with his yellow costume; it was only after Hugh Jackman that Wolverine turned droolworthy

This wasnt the end but....soon I was to meet the boy who gave me sleepless nights. Obsession to the extent of muttering & smiling in sleep. I swore eternal, never ending love to this one guy on God knows how many ocassions. No conversation was fun if it didnt involve him & nothing looked good without his round specs....that was the perfect boy .The boy who lived. Harry Potter my entire high school I dedicated to you. I managed to alter my tomboyish ways all thanks to you. I managed an entire wall of your pics,a full scrap book dedicated to you, not to mention I even had a bday cake ordered for you. No prizes for guessing who the proud owner of the entire series is. Sighhhh.....why werent you real?

But wishes were wild horses. Soon school boy’s innocence was replaced with the sheer intrigue of the old world & folks who ruled it. Out of the blue came Lord of the Rings & with it came 2 men - dizzyingly divine & irresistible as sin. King Aragorn & Legolas. Trust me till date I haven’t been able to quite figure out whom I loved the most. If Aragorn had the stoic superiority of the person who knows he can never be wrong then Legolas has the raw impulse of the man who would take the right action irrespective of the consequences. Guess I was caught between two loyalities, one to the King of Men & another to the Prince of Elves. And you really can’t help getting bowled over again when they are played by the Viggo Mortensen & Orlando Bloom in the movies....sighs are in order  

But with age comes the mellowness, there is always a time when you actually think the bravado is always not worth it and all you desire is the intelligent man with whom you can have a brilliant conversation over a mug of hot coffee. What could be better if the same man has a penchant for most interesting symbolisms known to mankind & a terrible affinity to danger? I could never thank Dan Brown enough for bringing Robert Langdon into my life and making me realize the truth of the phase “Knowledge is Virtue” indeed..... indeed.....the fact that Tom Hanks plays him the movies only adds to immense luuvvve

And finally my current obsession SHERLOCK :-* Although this time it’s more the handiwork of the brilliant Benedict Cumberbatch. Words are trivial when it comes to you Sherlock. Like Above & Beyond sings I’ll never get over you. You’ll never get over me (I doubt the latter, but what the heck a girl can dream.........)

F. R. I. E. N. D. S

FRIENDS  has been an integral part of my growing up years. It has been more than just a series, it portrayed a life an entire generation could relate to, and the characters were more than just screen images. They were people we meet in everyday life or for that matter every time we look into the mirror. Daily incidents shown were so trivial yet so poignant. Issues depicted were neither major cause of concern yet concerned with the survival of ordinary youngsters.  FRIENDS was probably the only series that tugged all the right strings, connected oh so deeply & had its heart in the right place. For people like me who literally stuck to FRIENDS, it reminded us of our own lives with all its highs & lows, ups & downs, rights & wrongs & it reminded us of all the people who stick by us irrespective of how pathetic or awesome we were , people we love & people who love us back.

Maybe the highest point of FRIENDS was its simplicity. The unabashed innocence that flowed through the scripts. The phases were the integrity of characters was not compromised in an attempt to appear supposedly cool & callous. The times they were so awesome we almost wished they were real. The times they were so silly that we laughed our ribs out and the times when they appeared so vulnerable and pathetic that our heart went out to them. 

At some point or other we all wanted to just hug Rachel & tell her that all will ok. We wanted to smack Chandler for being a sarcastic jerk, to shake Ross and tell him to be real and shake head at Pheobe. We wished to tell Monica to loosen up and ask Joey – How u Doing?

Every episode in its own way caused a sigh, a half falling tear, a smile or rib tickling laughter and no matter how many remashes come up , nothing can ever match up with F.R.I.E.N.D.S

MUAH ........thank you FRIENDS for making my life happier J

I’ll be there for youuuuuu, coz ur there for me toooooo

Vanity Fare

This post is a part of one long stretched thought process, consideration of too many practical aspects stalled it being put up but then again practicality was never really my primary reflex action. Although the truth was very much in face, it was ignored but not so comfortable doing it anymore.

We girls swear by a whole lot of cosmetics that keeps us perfect from dawn to dusk. Trust me I can’t live without my kajal for a day even if you paid me your weight in gold to do so. Likewise I have a friend who clings to her lip gloss as if her life depended on it, another who lands up every alternate day with a new shade of nail polish on her brilliantly manicured nails, one who trusts only a certain shampoo brand because it smoothens her hair perfectly, one who prefers a certain facial cream which covers up her skin imperfections; the list goes on & on & on & on……....sorry to burst your bubble folks but what if we are told about the dark murky side of this Oh So Glamorous picks we have made.

What if we were shown the side of cosmetic industry that dwells in scientific labs and the animals that bear the brunt of our pretty faces? Will we be still happy looking at ourselves in the mirror knowing that the kohl that lines our eyes was result of 100s of rabbits going blind? The conditioner that smoothens our hair has burnt the skin & fur off a baby squirrel. A cat has got its flesh stripped till ribs in order to facilitate the exact acid content of our astringent. Did our vanity & beauty come with such a ghastly cost? Maybe we might turn a blind eye stating the so called “practical” aspects but does practicality really mean losing humanity?

It is true we will not be able to eradicate animal testing, it has etched itself in our daily lives. But we can at least make an effort.

How can you and I help to ensure we are not a part of this bloody ritual? Well for starters do our research. The internet is flooded with the truth behind animal experiments in cosmetic industry. It showcases graphic images of how our furry friends are treated and also details of companies who follow these barbaric methods. Boycotting the cosmetics made from these organizations will be a good way to start.

Go for natural ways to polish, nourish & shine your skin and hair.

As far as makeup is concerned, go bare face :)……….. now that really isn’t a coveted option so research more. There exist companies with compassion, who opt for ways of testing with laboratory generated skin cells and human body simulated conditions. A  rabbit logo that looks like this symbolizes animal friendly products .Try using them. The choices maybe limited but it will be worth it.

Heaven knows with what angst I dumped my cosmetic paints and settled for bare minimums, but I love my face more now and most certainly hope bit by bit if we all try maybe someday in the future we will live in a world that does not believe in sacrificing lives for something as trivial as darker mascara.

Warning: No animals were hurt in the process of writing this blog except my roommate who had to bear my constant blabbering.